Germany Noooooooooo!!! 😭

[cashew]

So, thanks to Spain failing to beat Japan, Germany's knocked out of the group stages even though they have 4 points, because Germany apparently can't fucking catch a break.

1-0 in the first half is truly the most dangerous lead.

For about 3 minutes, Germany went behind Costa Rica while Spain was trailing Japan and both European giants were in danger of getting kicked out of groups. But Germany saved Spain's bacon while Spain didn't manage to return the favor by beating Japan and instead ended up beating their heads against the Japanese bus for like...45 minutes and got nowhere.

My only consolation at this point is that Spain gets a relatively easy bracket against Morocco, then presumably go up against Portugal in the quarterfinals. Meanwhile, on the other side of the bracket, Brazil avoids meeting Spain in quarters and will most likely get Croatia (barring another upset) and... Oh man, my stomach hurts just thinking about this nonsense.

I just might see the most obnoxious teams make it through to the finals and this freaks me out.