LOL, Chinese joke

[cashew]

This essay is apparently circling Chinese TikTok:

《命运》

同样是豆子，凭什么红豆配相思，绿豆只能配王八？

后来才知道红豆味苦有小毒，而绿豆清热解毒还祛火。红豆越煮约苦，王八越炖越补。

故而相思味苦，王八大补，相思一文不值，王八一斤八十。

I wanna shove this into some fic writer's faces.

Comments

[tanithryudo]

I get it's a pun for 王八 meaning both rogue characters and also turtles. But I don't get what it has to do with writing? Something something romance is inherently toxic?

[cashew]

It comes from two sayings:

1. 红豆生南国，春来发几枝。愿君多采撷，此物最相思。(Pretty famous poem, tested on exams and stuff.) Red bean's poetic name is 相思子.

2. 王八对绿豆，对了眼了。(Well known 歇后语, a metaphor playing on puns and extended meanings. Usually saying aloud the first half while implying the second half. ) The phrase is used to describe someone (usually sly and tricksy) suddenly having a brain fart or becoming wordless. (Usually in the context of love at first sight.)

So the essay asks why despite both being beans, red bean is associated with pining but green beans are associated with turtles. The conclusion is red beans are mildly toxic, so will become bitter when over cooked; but turtles are nourishing when slow cooked. And that's why pining is worthless while turtles cost 80 bucks/500g (500g = 1 斤).

The joke is the pining type of romance is worthless, much better to go eat some turtles. So basically it's saying "fuck pining", but using market prices as justification.