Fuck your luxury pen spiel

[cashew]

Unsurprisingly, luxury pen seller justifies spending thousands on luxury pens. And I do mean thousands. For example, this completely normal looking fountain pen's price on their website:

Over $4000?! Are you fucking kidding me?

And their justification why luxury pens are "worth it"?

[T]he vast majority of naysayers are simply distracted because they are comparing apples to oranges. Nobody buys a luxury pen because they can’t find a pen in the junk drawer to jot down their grocery list. ... The best luxury pens bring an entirely different set of traits and advantages to the table, like artistry and premium materials.

Yeah, no. Fuck you. If I want art I'll go put money in some starving artist's hands by purchasing their prints or sculptures or whatever. I'll find my local pen maker and give them my business. Something stamped out by a machine is not art. Fuck you.

A pen is a tool first and foremost. A pen that cannot satisfy being a good tool is a pen failed. Fuck your artistry. Of course we like our tools to look nice while still retaining their tool capabilities, hence why we pick a lime green power sander over the dull black or slather decals all over our car or select the bowl that has a cute cat rather than the blank white one. But we are not spending thousands of dollars for a pretty design. Not on our fucking tools.

I might be a huge proponent of using fountain pens, but fuck this capitalist trying to sell you a bridge.