cashew | Illegitimate reasons to not use fountain pens

Let's just say I find these excuses to be bullshit.

I don't know why I'm reading a silly person proudly proclaiming he doesn't use fountain pens like he's being some kind of rebel when fountain pens are already a writing utensil that has fallen out of popularity. There's plenty of good reasons not to use a fountain pen, but the reasons he came up with? Illegitimate.

Fountain pens are distracting
So, he's saying fountain pens are distracting. Except...are they? How unfamiliar with writing must you be that a fountain pen is confusing you? I don't find myself paying attention to my pen in the middle of scribbling down my drafts. Most people who love fountain pens love them precisely because the writing experience is so smooth that they start to forget about fighting the pen and can focus on their writing. This seems to be a very subjective experience that does not jive with most pen users' experience.
Fountain pens are too much work.
Yes, apparently the basic act of filling up a pen with ink is too complicated, too stressful. An act that millions, literal millions, of school children are able to complete without thinking too much is something that is stressing this grown man out. (I say millions because, in many European countries, the fountain pen is mandatory for homework up to high school.) This says more about the writer than it does about fountain pens.
Fountain pens are too expensive.
So, I've addressed this before. Repeatedly. I'm not going to bother blah blah blah again.

Sooooo, are there ever legitimate reasons to not prefer a fountain pen as a stationary nerd? (I've talked a little bit about who shouldn't be thinking about fountain pens before, but that's in the context of Serious Writers™.) Yes, there are plenty of legitimate reasons to not consider fountain pens, but they're certainly not the reasons this Tony guy gave.

Here are some:

Absentmindedness. As a person who experienced a father who has locked himself out of the house twice in the span of 30 minutes, lost his glasses after washing his face, left his groceries at the cashier desk, left his wallet at the butcher's, left his phone on the taxi, locked himself out of his office, misplaced his train ticket between the ticket booth and the platform...yeah, maybe don't get him a pen that is meant to be used in the long term. If you're a person who just can't keep track of your stuff to the point that your wife needed to tie your keys to your pants so you don't lock yourself out of the house (true story), then you have a good reason to not get a fountain pen. I would hazard this is not most people. =.=
Disabilities. If you have a disability that affects daily function, you have a very good reason to use a different writing utensil. For example, if you are unable to use both hands or have compromised fine motor control, refilling the fountain pen would be mindbogglingly difficult. It would be preferable to use a simple ballpoint/gel pen that you can click in and out.
Field work. There is a reason why my PI is very adamant about using pencil in the field. Pencil is waterproof. Pencil does not care about weather conditions. Pencil will write on just about any surface. Pencil writes under water. Pencil does not care about dirt, sand, grit, mud, or whatever nature has in store. Pencil will write in zero gravity. Pencil is the superior writing utensil in the field.
Lab work. Ink, all forms of ink whether it's oil or water based, is chemically reactive to common laboratory solutions. This is why lab notes are taken in pencil and transcribed after the session. This is why microscope slides are labeled with pencil and not pen. Pens are banned from labs.
Rocket science. A lot of NASA scientists still used fountain pens, but as a rule, it's probably best not to use fountain pens around a rocket for mechanical and chemical reasons. Well...you probably shouldn't be using anything that isn't designated rocket science equipment.
Pilots. While fountain pens can be used in the air, it's definitely not ideal. The changing air pressure really messes with a fountain pen and while this can be accommodated by the passenger, the pilot should be focused on flying the plane and not making sure their fountain pen is stored nib up.
You mostly autograph things that aren't paper. If you mostly use the pen to sign t-shirts, balls, photos, etc., then a fountain pen is not the tool for you. Definitely get a Sharpie instead.
You just prefer something not a fountain pen. Maybe it's the aesthetic. Maybe it's the feel. Maybe it's the grip. Maybe you don't like liquid ink. Maybe you prefer boring black rollerball ink the way Steve Jobs prefers boring black turtlenecks. You just don't feel it for whatever reason and that's OK. Just don't sit there and make up an excuse that reveals your ignorance.