Finally found a direct stream of CCTV5

[cashew]

Mwahahah, I can watch Olympics without having to deal with annoying American commentators! Joy!

Games of interest:

• Marksmanship

• Table Tennis

• Badminton

• Diving

• Gymnastics

• Women's Volleyball (fuck the men's, it's so boring)

• Fútbol

Games that should never have been allowed into the Olympics:

• Dressage
  Like, seriously, WTF? Why is it even a sport? The horse is doing more work than the jockey. The trainer is doing more work than the jockey. But somehow the fucking jockey gets the damn medal? I hate it on principle.

• Golf
  That's not a fucking sport. It's a walk being ruined by pausing. Fuck golf. It's also terrible for the environment and super elitist. Also, it's sexist as fuck. Like, chop your head off for playing it as a woman sexist. No, seriously, fuck this game. I hate it for both political and preferential reasons.

Games that should have been an Olympic staple by now:

• Five-a-side soccer
  Seriously, there's 3x3 basketball and there's beach volleyball, but there's still no five-a-side soccer? What justifiable reason do you have for not making five-a-side an official event at this point?

• Futsal
  There's BMX freestyle, BMX racing, mountain biking, road cycle, indoor track cycling, but Futsal is too much to ask? Who the fuck needs five different ways of riding a bicycle when you can watch grown men chase after a ball while not being allowed to use their hands? Now that's real entertainment.

• F1 racing
  I'm sorry, but if you're going to allow horses, I don't see why mechanical horses shouldn't be allowed. And at least F1 racing requires insane levels of concentration from the driver to make those crazy pin turns, something a jockey doesn't even have to do because the horse is doing all the damn work.

I loathe dressage with the blazing fury of a thousand supernovas.