cashew | Finally found a direct stream of CCTV5

Mwahahah, I can watch Olympics without having to deal with annoying American commentators! Joy!

Games of interest:

Games that should never have been allowed into the Olympics:

Dressage
Like, seriously, WTF? Why is it even a sport? The horse is doing more work than the jockey. The trainer is doing more work than the jockey. But somehow the fucking jockey gets the damn medal? I hate it on principle.
Golf
That's not a fucking sport. It's a walk being ruined by pausing. Fuck golf. It's also terrible for the environment and super elitist. Also, it's sexist as fuck. Like, chop your head off for playing it as a woman sexist. No, seriously, fuck this game. I hate it for both political and preferential reasons.

Games that should have been an Olympic staple by now:

Five-a-side soccer
Seriously, there's 3x3 basketball and there's beach volleyball, but there's still no five-a-side soccer? What justifiable reason do you have for not making five-a-side an official event at this point?
Futsal
There's BMX freestyle, BMX racing, mountain biking, road cycle, indoor track cycling, but Futsal is too much to ask? Who the fuck needs five different ways of riding a bicycle when you can watch grown men chase after a ball while not being allowed to use their hands? Now that's real entertainment.
F1 racing
I'm sorry, but if you're going to allow horses, I don't see why mechanical horses shouldn't be allowed. And at least F1 racing requires insane levels of concentration from the driver to make those crazy pin turns, something a jockey doesn't even have to do because the horse is doing all the damn work.

I loathe dressage with the blazing fury of a thousand supernovas.