Chinese action film genre discussion is hilarious

[cashew]

I was looking up how people differentiated the many different Chinese action film genres (武打、武侠、功夫、动作、枪战), and came across some hilarious descriptions.

武打片：
“什么？！你敢说我是东亚病夫？找打！”

动作片：
“什么？！你敢玩我马子，找打！”

武侠片：
“什么？！你居然是我的杀父仇人？还偷我家秘籍？找打！”

功夫片：
“什么？！你敢说我家祖传还我漂漂拳垃圾？找打！”

枪战片：
“什。。。。”
“呯！”

Translation (warning: offensive language):

Wuda (or Fighting) Film:
"What?! You dare call me the 'Sick Man of Asia'? Imma beat you up!"

Action Film:
"What?! You dare fuck my bitch? Imma beat you up!"

Wuxia Film:
"What?! You dare murder my father?! And stole my family's secret technique? Imma beat you up!"

Kungfu Film:
"What?! You dare insult my ancestor's secret hidden floaty fist technique? Imma beat you up!"

Gun Fight Film:
"Wha..."
"Bang!"

Another hilarious description:

动作片：打人
武打片：用武术打人
武侠片：大侠用武术打人
功夫片：用功夫打人
枪战片：用枪打人

Translation:

Action film: Beat people up
Wuda film: Beat people up with martial arts
Wuxia film: Heroes beating people up with martial arts
Kungfu film: Beat people up with kungfu
Gun fight film: Beat people up with guns

Another take:

(武打)=有枪不用，肉搏。 (动作)=子弹打光再肉搏。(武侠)=子弹不管用，肉搏。(功夫)=你用枪，我肉搏。(枪战)=肉搏，用子弹解决。

Translation:

(Wuda)=Has gun, won't use, brawl. (Action)=Used up bullets then brawl. (Wuxia)=Bullets are useless, brawl. (Kungfu)=You use guns, I brawl. (Gun fight)=Brawl, then use bullets to clean up.

Here's another:

武打片:
70后之前对动作片的称呼

动作片:
歪国人的武打片

武侠片:
着古装的古代人的武打片

功夫片:
外国人眼里只有中国能拍的动作片

枪战片:
中国特有的时代产物

Translation:

Wuda Film:
The term Gen-X used for action films in the past

Action Film:
Foreign Wuda Film

Wuxia Film:
Wuda film with ancient people in period costumes

Kungfu Film:
Films that foreigners think only Chinese people can make

Gun Fight Film:
A Chinese specialty created during a unique era

In conclusion:

成龙是动作片，甄子丹是功夫片，李连杰是武侠片

Translation:

Jackie Chan is action film, Donny Yen is kungfu film, Jet Li is wuxia film.

Honestly, this last one is an elegant summary. It's so true.

Comments

[tanithryudo]

Are there any "modern" wuxia/kungfu shows or movies anymore? It seems like it's all been replaced by dance choreography and faux-xianxia romance now...

[cashew]

Hm...I know that there's been some remakes of the classics like, 倚天屠龙记、笑傲江湖、龙门客栈, but new ones are pretty hard to come by.

This guy covers a top-ten list of recent Wuxia movies. Here's another rec list bemoaning the lack of good Wuxia.

I think one of the difficulties in making good Wuxia is the industry thinks they can get away with magical mumbo jumbo shit instead of trained martial artists for their stunts. First, it's cheaper. Second, logistically, it's easier to CGI the crap out of the footage in post than try to figure out the logistics of how to film it on set. Third, there's been a severe shortage of actual martial artists and stunt actors who know how to do this stuff moving towards an acting career as the "facial value" inflated as audiences demanded better and better looking men (who have to protect their faces and therefore do not do a lot of actual training). So...yeah.

I blame Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon's success for convincing the industry in thinking dance-y choreography is a good enough replacement for real martial arts experience.