Tuesday, October 5th, 2021

cashew: Minako's transformation pen (SailorMoon // pen is mightier)

I was looking up how people differentiated the many different Chinese action film genres (武打、武侠、功夫、动作、枪战), and came across some hilarious descriptions.

武打片:
“什么?!你敢说我是东亚病夫?找打!”

动作片:
“什么?!你敢玩我马子,找打!”

武侠片:
“什么?!你居然是我的杀父仇人?还偷我家秘籍?找打!”

功夫片:
“什么?!你敢说我家祖传还我漂漂拳垃圾?找打!”

枪战片:
“什。。。。”
“呯!”

Translation (warning: offensive language):

Wuda (or Fighting) Film:
"What?! You dare call me the 'Sick Man of Asia'? Imma beat you up!"

Action Film:
"What?! You dare fuck my bitch? Imma beat you up!"

Wuxia Film:
"What?! You dare murder my father?! And stole my family's secret technique? Imma beat you up!"

Kungfu Film:
"What?! You dare insult my ancestor's secret hidden floaty fist technique? Imma beat you up!"

Gun Fight Film:
"Wha..."
"Bang!"

Another hilarious description:

动作片:打人
武打片:用武术打人
武侠片:大侠用武术打人
功夫片:用功夫打人
枪战片:用枪打人

Translation:

Action film: Beat people up
Wuda film: Beat people up with martial arts
Wuxia film: Heroes beating people up with martial arts
Kungfu film: Beat people up with kungfu
Gun fight film: Beat people up with guns

Another take:

(武打)=有枪不用,肉搏。 (动作)=子弹打光再肉搏。(武侠)=子弹不管用,肉搏。(功夫)=你用枪,我肉搏。(枪战)=肉搏,用子弹解决。

Translation:

(Wuda)=Has gun, won't use, brawl. (Action)=Used up bullets then brawl. (Wuxia)=Bullets are useless, brawl. (Kungfu)=You use guns, I brawl. (Gun fight)=Brawl, then use bullets to clean up.

Here's another:

武打片:
70后之前对动作片的称呼

动作片:
歪国人的武打片

武侠片:
着古装的古代人的武打片

功夫片:
外国人眼里只有中国能拍的动作片

枪战片:
中国特有的时代产物

Translation:

Wuda Film:
The term Gen-X used for action films in the past

Action Film:
Foreign Wuda Film

Wuxia Film:
Wuda film with ancient people in period costumes

Kungfu Film:
Films that foreigners think only Chinese people can make

Gun Fight Film:
A Chinese specialty created during a unique era

In conclusion:

成龙是动作片,甄子丹是功夫片,李连杰是武侠片

Translation:

Jackie Chan is action film, Donny Yen is kungfu film, Jet Li is wuxia film.

Honestly, this last one is an elegant summary. It's so true.

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