cashew | Can we calm down on the Gay Narrative?

So, been recently catching up on Pixar movies and the new Pixar movie Luca has everyone in a tizzy about how it's a "gay story even if Pixar says it's not".

I get that a lot of people are all caught up and trying to show their support for the LGBT+ community because that's the new hot progressive thing to do, but not everything is about LGBT+ acceptance? Like, has anyone thought the default assumption every time there is a deep, emotional connection between two men then it must be romantic is also problematic?

And being an outsider doesn't always mean sexual/gender nonconformity. Being an immigrant, being a different race, being a non-gregarious personality, etc., are all things that isolate people from social interactions. I mean, just look at the prevalence of movies whose main theme is the way to greater happiness is to "be more sociable" or "be more outgoing" or "have more confidence". It completely negates/discredits people with introverted personalities, denying them any validation. In these mainstream movies, being introverted is always presented as a problem that needs fixing, rather than an attribute that is worth celebrating. (Looking at you, Onward.) You don't think introverts are also looking for a story that shows them acceptance rather than tell them they need to be more confident/sociable/extroverted? Because an introvert ≠ shy. There are plenty of introverts who are confident, they just don't make many friends because they're introverts.

Like, I get it, gay people want to see representation, and you deserve it. But uh, not everything is about you? Considering that a lot of men are realizing they don't have deep meaningful friendships in their lives, with substantial contribution from the perpetuation of toxic masculinity in mainstream entertainment that destroyed multiple generations' of men's ability to form a meaningful emotional connection outside of the narrow concept of "romantic partner", I'd say that male-male friendship is just as in need of representation as gay romance.

And don't even start with me about buddy cop shows as if they portray healthy friendships. Most of these shows start with two people who can barely stand each other and are usually forced into life and death situations to build some kind of bond that mostly involves one person yelling at the other person to stop putting their lives in danger. Look into your lives and tell me how many of your friendships were established through a life and death scenario? I'm going out on a limb and guess ZERO. So yes, I can say that current depiction of healthy, emotionally open friendship between men is also a sorely under-represented category.

Hell, I would say that healthy male-male relationships (as in: there is a matter-of-fact emotional communication and sincere opening up regarding emotional needs) in any form, romantic or platonic, is practically non-existent. The only time modern entertainment is willing to contemplate men talking about their feelings are in times of extreme danger. This is just not a healthy state of mind. And if every time two men on screen is showing a deep emotional connection it is automatically read as queer-baiting...well, what kind of message does that send?

Again, LGBT+ deserves representation. This is not saying somehow you are not deserving of your movies. But please stop acting like the other marginalized groups have "got theirs". They haven't. They also deserve a look-see.